Attention: Red Flags

One of my closest friends said: I saw he was drinking. I knew I should not marry him. Right before the wedding day. But the invitations were sent and the family was invited. I felt uncomfortable saying I am out.

Here are some red flags you must pay attention before commit to a person:

1. Your biological clock “ticking faster” is not the reason to get engaged.
2. If you did not recover from a previous relationship do not start with a new one.
3. Any kind of abuse: physical, emotional (lack of respect, excessive control) is intolerable for engagement.
4. Inability to bring the needs, concerns, worries in front of a partner and discuss it is a sign of insufficient communication in relationship. If you can not do it know there is a small chance it improves in the future.
5. If your partner is an addict it is not the right time for engagement.
6. Your partner puts his parents wishes before you. He is not ready to get engaged before he leaves his mother and father.
7. Lies of any kind or hiding crucial information per say medical conditions or amount of children from previous marriage can be a reason not to get engaged.
8. Hindrance to your spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical growth, lack of support
9. Most of your time is characterized by the disagreements and scandals that are never resolved. Marriage is loaded with babies, dogs, household, additional duties and if you are enable to work on the problems now you will probably not solve them in the marriage.
10. Do not marry just for sex. Physics alone is not enough, you need spiritual, emotional, recreational, intellectual, social intimacy as well.
11. Do not marry under any kind of pressure, whether it is your friends or society tells you it is a perfect candidate for you, listen to your heart and ask wisdom from God to make the right choice.
12. If your interests, views, preferences are totally different, whatever delights you now may become a pain in the neck for you in the future.
13. If spending a day with your partner is a torture, why are you still together? Stop seeing that person even if he benefits you on some level let is say buying you groceries.
14. If a partner reacts to you spending time on your activities it will more probably not change in the future.
15. If you ask all the time: Do you really love me, address your self esteem getting help from counseling. It is nor the right time to get married yet.

There are many more things to think about and tons of important questions to ask out loud. The whole purpose is to know the person well enough to be confident and happy about your choice. Remember, that no one is perfect. One of the arguments for marriage is: Two are BETTER than one: if one falls down, one can help the other up.